Today is Mindset Monday and today I would like to talk about establishing what you actually want out of life. Many of us (including myself) know exactly what we DON’T want but unsure or unclear about what we DO want.

I use  two tools that help me along my personal AND professional journey.


A Vision Board.

That’s why creating a Vision Board is so useful. I first heard of the concept of creating a vision board about 10 years ago when I first heard about The Secret.

stencil-blog-post-image-7A Vision Board is a board that you display images/quotes/words what represent what you want, to have or do in life. You can have a Vision Board for specific areas of your life, e,g, health, wealth, lifestyle, relationships and dream home.  There are no rules. You can create as many as you want and include anything you want … It’s ALL yours so you decide.

A Vision Board can be a physical thing or it was be digital. As long as you look at it several times a day to remind you of your WHY.


Contrast vs Clarity.

This was originally created by Michael Losier and was used by my life coach Liz Green.

Contrast is simply everything YOU DON’T WANT (experiences, things, feelings and emotions) and Clarity is everything YOU DO WANT (experiences, things, feelings and emotions).

1681782Many of us think that Contrast is negative and should not be focused on at any time. However, I think it’s great! I love it, especially when I have no idea what I want. We can’t have the positive emotions without the negative ones. It’s like wanting light without dark … It’s simply impossible. 

My best example was my dating life. I came out a reasonably long relationship, I was alone for a long while (which I was very happy with) but when I decided I was ready to start dating, I had no idea what I actually wanted in a possible life partner and if those desires were realistic. I was happy at the thought of being “alone” as I felt I was (am) enough so a man was a lovely addition and didn’t NEED one to give me significance or “fill me up”.stencil-blog-post-image-6

So I went out on dates. How was I to know what I wanted if I hadn’t done any “research” and that’s what I called my dating life for a short while. As with every guy I met enabled me to add things onto my contrast and clarity list. I really did have a contract and clarity list for my dating life. I had to. It’s such an important thing, I saw so many people in dysfunctional relationships and I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t be like them.

My list started quite superficial but the more data I got the more I noticed that what I thought I wanted changed. Hence the importance of a contrast and clarity list. 


15037187_10154932497172780_1108016175303295446_nThen six months into “data gathering” (dating life) and refining what I wanted from my possible life partner, I met Richard. He was funny, ambitious, kind, loving and gorgeous! He was the first guy in a very long time to play no mind games, he was so open and honest with his feelings for me. I couldn’t believe it! Things just got better and better and 3 years later we moved in together – something never of us had ever done before. It just felt right. We have been together just over 4 years, yes we’ve had our ups and downs but we love and care for each other and we couldn’t ask for any more.



Today I am setting you three tasks to complete.

  • Answer the following questions, analyse and reflect on your answers. What do you want to have? What do you want to be? What do you want to do?
  • Create a vision board. Flick through magazines and see if you feel inspired by any imagery or words. Type into google images something that you desire, print it off and stick it on your vision board.
  • Complete a Contrast and Clarity List. Visit Michael’s website and download and complete his blank worksheets.


I hope you have found this post helpful.

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